In Season Mom

MEET FEATURED MOM DARLINE TURNER

By December 1, 2014 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Uncategorized

darline turner_400x400Name: Darline Turner

Age: 49

State of residence: Texas

Children and ages: 12 year old daughter and an 8 year old son

Current or former profession(s): Women’s Health Coach (Currently), Nationally Certified Physician Assistant (Not currently working clinically); Owner and Founder of Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond  www.mamasonbedrest.com

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant? 

I could get pregnant pretty easily, but I would miscarry early on before 12 weeks. Started in 2001, had first miscarriage and myomectomy to remove uterine fibroids. I had my daughter in 2002 at age 37 and my son in 2006 (after a second miscarriage in 2004) age 40.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

I was put on progesterone suppositories at ovulation because it was discovered that I had a luteal phase defect and my uterine lining was not developing enough to support the pregnancies.

SUPPORT

The Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

They were supportive of the pregnancy, but not of me or my life in particular. Being older and high risk, I don’t feel they really took to heart the emotional toll it took on me, especially since I was without family or support in the immediate area.

I felt left to my own devices to get the help and support I needed. That is why I started Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond. I wanted to be the support I wish I had had; i.e. help around the house, help with my daughter (second pregnancy) and emotional support.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

No. My OB and her practice were overall very good and very good with dealing with women with my types of medical complications. I opted for the technical expertise over the emotional intelligence.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy? My family was supportive, but cautious. I was pregnant with my son and turned 40 during the pregnancy. Having had a miscarriage, surgery to remove uterine fibroids prior to having my daughter, and then a second miscarriage, we all kind of held our collective breaths while I carried my son. Ironically, it was the easiest journey of my entire reproductive life!

LABOR AND DELIVERY

What do you remember most about the birth experience? 

Well, I hemorrhaged after having my daughter. Initially, she did not cry when she first was lifted out of me (c-section) and I was moving and squirming trying to see her. She finally cried and then was whisked out of the surgical delivery suite to the nursery. She had fluid on her lung and they needed to “work on her breathing”.

Meanwhile, I was bleeding and throwing up and my OB’s partner (who delivered in my OB’s absence since I was 3 weeks early) worked diligently to stimulate my very “boggy and non- contracting uterus” and to stop the bleeding and stitch me up while the anesthesiologist gave me something to stop the vomiting and calm me down. I was pretty upset that they took my daughter and I really didn’t get to see or hold her!

I remember there was a lot of hustle and bustle as instrument packs were opened and everyone prepped to work on me. My husband had left to go with my daughter and I remember thinking what a horrible joke it would be if after everything I went through, I didn’t live to see/hold my daughter! I was really upset. For a time, every time the OB stitched, blood shot up like Old Faithful. But she was very focused and skilled and after about 45 minutes, I was all stitched up. It was 12 hours before I held my daughter and that was as she was on her way up to the NICU.

My son’s birth was the polar opposite. Since my husband was less than useless during my daughter’s delivery, I asked my sister to be with me in the delivery room. My son was born at 39 weeks via C-section. My OB delivered him and it was a nearly perfect C-section except the anesthesiologist missed while giving the epidural and initially only numbed my left side.

It also really hurt and I broke out into a sweat, started shaking and nearly fainted.

However, once they got the epidural properly administered, the delivery occurred without a problem. My son came out with the most hilarious expression on his face as if to say, “Are you freaking kidding me? It’s cold a stink out her!” He then looked at each one of us and then let out a wail! Dr. Swenson the held him up by his legs, something about letting the fluid out of his lungs and he proceeded to pee around the entire delivery room.

When My OB went to stitch me up, that bleeding thing wanted to start up, so she had my son put to my breast and he nursed like a champ! Meanwhile, his nursing stimulated my uterus to contract and the bleeding was averted. While this delivery went much more smoothly, I had a much harder recovery. Nursing really made my C-section incision hurt and my back hurt for months after the delivery-about 6 months to be exact! Even now, almost 9 years later, on very rare occasions when I’m tired or have done a vigorous workout, I can feel EXACTLY where I had that epidural.

 I’M A MOM!Darline T

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Nothing really. For me, the problem was getting the kids here. Once I had them, I had no concerns whatsoever about raising them.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I think I’m much smarter. I didn’t worry about having the latest and greatest baby items. I was really clear about how I was going to do motherhood, so I didn’t get sucked up into the commercial/retail craze. Also, being a Physician Assistant, I don’t sweat colds and such. My kids are super healthy and each have had only one ear infection. I’m also much more savvy about their development and behaviors. I don’t sweat things that they do nearly as much as I would if I were a younger mom. Having practiced clinically for 8 years before becoming pregnant really gave me a level of knowledge and comfort I never would have had had I had children younger. I honestly feel I had my kids at the perfect age.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I let go of a lot of superfluousness! Being single or even a newlywed, I worried about a lot of truly inconsequential things. Once I had kids, I could see a lot of that fluff for just what it was-superfluous fluff! I let it go. I gained a lot of wisdom and perspective having my kids.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

If you really want to do it, DO IT!! Don’t let people scare you with all sorts of statistics and “advanced maternal age” stuff. If you are healthy and there are no contraindications to you having children, go for it! Just realize that you may encounter a few more complications, but most are easily resolved. Take good care of yourself and you and your baby will most likely be fine!!

Additional comments?

I truly believe that if you are meant to have children, you will. I say this because I have a cousin who had a baby at age 52, completely healthy, after having and losing a son at 18 to Sickle Cell Anemia. My little cousin was destined to come and come she did! If you really feel in your heart you are to have children, go for it! You wouldn’t have the desire if it wasn’t for you!

 

MEET FEATURED MOM MICHELLE

By November 1, 2014 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms
Michelle Mann-1

 

Michelle Mann-1

Name: Michelle

Age:    49 ( I will be 50 in Feb)

State of residence: Arizona

Child’s name and age: Nathanael Smart, 4 years old,

Current or former profession(s): Actress/Model and Real Estate Agent

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant? 

Two years – I had lost a baby at 42 and had him at 45.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?  

Having a very shaman/spiritual life I was doing sweats and eating very clean and having regular balancing treatments.  I don’t eat a lot of processed foods. I walked, meditated and stayed very positive in my belief that I could manifest another baby.  Once I released the fear, I was able to receive the gift of pregnancy.

SUPPORT

Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

Very supportive

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not? 

If I had had doctors that didn’t support me or believe in the idea of having a baby after 40, yes I would have. I felt very blessed because I had great doctors and nurses.

 Family and friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

They were all very excited for me.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not? 

Yes, we went to a birthing class once.

What do you remember most about the birth experience? 

For me it was awesome! I was in a car accident when I was 6 months pregnant. I was extremely worried because at age 42 I lost a little girl. I was 18 or so weeks into the pregnancy. I started to have some contractions from the car accident. I began going to an acupuncturist, massage/cranial sacral person and a chiropractor which helped greatly! I could tell that he (Nathanael) wanted to come early. So I kept telling him that was fine, and that he could only enter this world if he was able to come home with me from the hospital.  I had dropped my husband off and went to an acupuncture appointment and then to the hospital for a routine check-up to see how Nathanael was doing.

I went into the bathroom as I always did but didn’t seem to stop peeing.  I came out and told the nurses this and it all started—34-35 weeks into the pregnancy! I was only in labor for 8 hours and opted not to have any drugs. Around 8-9 cementers, I decided that may not have been the best choice, but by that point it was too late (lol)! He came out and all was good EXCEPT that no one had prepared me for having to deliver the placenta. I was a bit overwhelmed at that idea(lol)

I AM MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns? Michelle3

Not being here for him when he is older and not have family to connect with.  I enjoy every moment and trust.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom? 

I enjoy being in a better place with myself which allows me to have more patience and understanding toward Nathanael.

How has becoming a mom changed you?  

In every way! For me there has been no greater honor than becoming a mom! We have the chance to help shape our world by raising amazing/loving creative little souls.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35? 

Take care of yourself and never stop believing and trusting. Eat healthy foods.   I am of a mindset that in many regards, we have been brainwashed as women to believe certain things. There is so much fear out there. We create fear in our lives by hearing and believing it.

I am not saying to wait if you don’t have too (become a mother) but if you have to, work towards trusting and believing.  Take care of you; anything is possible. Don’t allow others to create the fear that they know better; better than something higher and more profound at work in this process.  I was blessed because all my doctors gave the power to God/Higher power not to the medical world and statistics.

Michelle2

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Michelle for sharing her story and for being an inspiration to all of us!

 

Trying to Conceive in Your 40s Coping Tips

By October 30, 2014 Featured Home
tryingtoconceive

-Over 30 practical coping tips that you can use now

-Quick read e-book without all the depressing medical jargon or statistics

-Many books offer suggestions on getting pregnant after 35 but this e-book offers tips on coping while you wait

-Written by first time mom over 40 of two healthy babies

Book Outline

Failing Faith in God, Self & Others                Tips 1-8

Taking Care of Self-Mentally  (PT I)             Tips 9-19

Taking Care of Self-Mentally  (PT II)           Tips -20-26    

Taking Care of Self- Physically                      Tips 27-36

Email: cynthia@inseasonmom.org for details

 

MEET FRANCESCA KOTOMSKI

By October 3, 2014 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms
fran alone

fran alone

Name: Francesca Kotomski

Age: 47

State of residence:  Massachusetts

Children’s names and ages: Lucas, 7,   Matthew 3

Current profession:  Fitness instructor, personal trainer, instructor at career school http://www.francescakotomski.com/

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

 I was trying 4 years.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40? 

Slowed down, exercise, went BPA free bottles, meds and followed my cycle carefully.

SUPPORT 

The Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy? 

My ob is not supportive of older moms.  I could tell and with the second one, I didn’t even see him until after the first trimester.  I thought he would tell me something bad. And when he had the chance, he did!   He was absolutely wrong!  I was so glad he didn’t deliver Matthew. A female doc in his practice delivered Matthew.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I only changed doctors from the IVF people to a very healthy Catholic doctor who used natural fertility methods.  His methods are proven and it worked!  I changed to this doctor because he had a very healthy and pro-life way to deal with fertility issues.    After Matthew was born, I saw my non supportive ob/gyn once.  I switched for my gyn appointments to a regular doctor.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy? 

Family and friends were supportive; although my mother said she was scared and felt that I was very lucky to have healthy kids “at this age.”  She said that more than once.  But everyone was very happy.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not? 

Yes, I took a class for the first baby.  Then after the first one, I realized that most of what I learned didn’t seem to apply!  Giving birth is fairly natural and the nurses coach you through.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

The first one was induced, long and painful and I had epidural. The second was quick and painful but with no epidural because it was so quick.   What I remember most: pain and then happiness to see my baby.

I’M A MOM

fran with boys2

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?  

The future is my concern, getting older,  slowly down naturally, as well as retirement as they enter college. Hopefully, I can give my children enough lively exciting experiences.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Feeling more settled in who I am, stronger in my will to do the right thing!  It’s good to know others who are in the same place.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I appreciate the little things.  I appreciate when I get time alone and quiet time.   It’s slowed me down, but that’s good.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Get into good, healthy shape.  You will need to be strong in will as you deal with others ideas of a younger mom vs older mom.  You also need to be physically able to handle the demands of an additional person who depends on you.

 Do you have any additional comments?

I like to surround myself with other moms and support groups to do play groups or library groups.  I work hard to attain a balance between professional life and time with my little guy, especially before he goes into school.  That’s a big struggle because I want more out of my professional life and I realize that time as a young child is short.  So, older moms will have that struggle as they are settled into their career.

I think it’s best for moms to be open to changing their hours or the way they do work.  I work a variety of hours and that helps with my balancing act.  Also, doing exercise at home through the home workouts saves me a lot of time. And, allows my children to participate in programs that are scheduled the same time as traditional gym classes.

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank InSeason Mom Francesca for sharing her story and for being an inspiration to all of us. To learn more about Francesca’s fitness and personal training program, visit http://www.francescakotomski.com/

 

You Can Have A Healthy Pregnancy After 35

By October 1, 2014 Getting Pregnant After 35 and 40, Popular Posts, Uncategorized
pic10-Midlife motherhood myths dispelled

There is not an expectant mother alive who hasn’t had some anxiety about her baby’s health. She wonders whether her baby will be born healthy. Thoughts that never entered her mind are present.

Movies, books, television, the nosy woman in the hair salon tell birth horror stories that increase a pregnant woman’s anxiety. Combine all of this with the hormone changes that take place in the body during pregnancy, and it’s a wonder that any woman survives pregnancy with her sanity in tact.

An expectant mom over 35 is hit with a double dose of anxiety. She worries about her baby’s health and worries about the role her age will play in her baby’s health.
Here are eight guidelines to ease your mind and to help you achieve a healthy midlife pregnancy:

1.CHOOSE AN OBSTETRICIAN OR MIDWIFE WHO DOESN’T VIEW MIDLIFE PREGNANCY AS A PROBLEM.

Ask if your prospective health care provider has concerns about pregnancy over 35.
Listen carefully to make sure the concerns are medically-based rather than opinion-based. Opinion-based concerns are those that do not have any medical validity.

Your health care provider may be concerned that collectively the medical history of pregnant women over age 35 shows an increased risk of:

  • High blood pressure
  • Diabetes
  • Cesarean birth
  • Chromosomal defects

Remember that these studies are based on the results of midlife pregnant women as a group and are not based on your individual medical history. Select an obstetrician or midwife who respects your right to have your pregnancy viewed individually.

2. DIET MATTERS.

A pregnant woman needs an extra 300 calories a day. You can get these calories by eating a variety of foods that are high in protein, calcium and iron.

To prevent bacteria and parasites that could be harmful to your unborn baby, avoid unpasteurized milk or soft cheeses and undercooked or raw meat, fish, shellfish or eggs.
Also, wash all fresh fruits thoroughly before eating.

You’ll need to increase your intake of protein and folic acid. Protein is crucial for the development of all new cells. A minimum of 60 grams per day is needed for the physical and cellular development of your baby.

Taking a multivitamin supplement that includes 400 micrograms of folic acid daily is beneficial to a pregnant woman as well as all women of childbearing age. Folic acid helps in the developing the spinal cord and the brain of an unborn baby.

During pregnancy curb your craving for caffeine. Consumed in large quantities, caffeine can cause irritability, nervousness and insomnia as well as low birth-weight babies.
Some studies show that caffeine intake during pregnancy can harm the fetus. Other studies state “there’s no proof that small amounts of caffeine, (1-2 cups of coffee daily) cause problems during pregnancy.

Until more conclusive studies are done you may want to limit your caffeine intake while pregnant.

3. NO TO ALCOHOL.

No one knows how much alcohol a woman has to consume to put herself at risk for a miscarriage or her baby at risk for fetal alcohol syndrome.

Fetal alcohol syndrome may include mental and growth retardation, facial malformations, liver and kidney abnormalities.

Because there is such uncertainty surrounding the level of alcohol consumption and pregnancy, most health care providers recommended that pregnant women avoid alcohol.

4. STOP SMOKING.

Smoking during pregnancy puts your baby at risk. Smoking while pregnant reduces the amount of oxygen delivered to your baby, which may impair the growth of your baby resulting in a greater chance of having a premature or too small baby.

Smoking increases your risk of miscarriage, vaginal bleeding and infant death.

5. LEGAL AND ILLEGAL DRUGS.

Legal Drugs- Some medications are not safe for a pregnant woman. You should review all drugs including prescriptions, over-the-counter and herbal medications with your physician before, during and after pregnancy.

Illegal Drugs- I will not get into a debate about what drugs should or shouldn’t be legal. I will write that legal and illegal drugs can kill your future and the future of your baby. If you are addicted, find a support group or treatment.

6. EXERCISE REGULARLY.

Never begin an exercise program without first checking with your doctor. Exercise is a good way to get and keep your body in shape. Exercise also relieves stress during pregnancy.

7. REST.

The body goes through many physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. Fatigue is common discomfort of pregnancy. Listen to your body. Rest whenever possible. Stop or cut back on many activities that sap your strength.

8. LIMIT YOUR CONTACT WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE.

All expectant moms, regardless of age, run into unwanted advice about everything from clothing to weight.

As a mom over 35 you will run into people who applaud your decision to give birth later to people who tell you outright that you are too old to have a baby.

The key is not in what others say but in how you react and believe the message they are saying. Like a soldier who puts on her physical attire for combat you must put on your mental gear to protect negativity from penetrating your spirits. Most of all enjoy your pregnancy!

MEET CLAIRE HEGARTY

By September 13, 2014 Featured Moms
CiCi-Mam-and-Dad-pro-photos-058

Name: Claire B. Hegarty

Age: 45

Residence: Dublin in the Republic of Ireland

Child’s name and age: Ciarán (pronounced Cirawn), 4 years old

Current or former profession(s): I am on a five-year career break from an executive assistant job in Tourism. Between parenting, blogging, pet sitting, caring for my mother and squeezing in and at yoga, I am busier than I ever was.

PREGNANCY

How long were you trying to get pregnant?

Around three years

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

At age 38 and after years of thinking I didn’t want children, what I thought was mythical – the body clock – suddenly kicked in! I didn’t do anything much to increase my chances as I just assumed it would be okay. Then when nothing happened except a miscarriage, I considered IVF but after research discounted the idea. IVF seemed to take over the lives of people. If IVF didn’t work, the devastation would be even more unbearable for me.

When I hit 40, I thought that was it. My chance was over. I decided that parenting probably wasn’t the path for me. I put it out of my mind. I threw myself into other aspects of my life. Then, out of the blue, at age 41, it happened! The amazing thing was that I was three months pregnant before I even realized! The idea had gone so far out of my mind. I had even lost track of my cycle because I wasn’t thinking about it anymore.

THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY 

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy? Were you surprise by their reaction?

My doctors were reasonably supportive. I did feel though that they were more worried about me because of my age. They seemed at pains to point out the statistics of abnormalities in the babies of more mature people but I was only slightly worried myself.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

No. I found my doctors to be fine. Although one did say that because I would be almost 42 when I gave birth, the chances of having another would not be very high and I would be ‘pushing it’ to be expecting to have a ‘normal’ outcome if I tried.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Who was the first person you told about your pregnancy and why?

I told my husband and then my mother because they were the two most important people to me at the time.

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Most of them were delighted for me but my mother was worried because of my age. A few thought I was selfish and someone else said I was brave.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?

I went to antenatal classes because I thought that is what I should do. I found the classes informative but embarrassing especially when partners came along. I did meet another forty something mother to be there though. We had our children within weeks of each other. Our children are the best of friends now!

Where did you give birth?

I gave birth in hospital. I thought up until the last minute I would have a natural birth but then I had a panic attack. I really freaked out so they decided they would do a c-section.

What do you remember most about the birth experience?

I don’t remember much except that wonderful moment when they put my son into our arms! I now understood what people meant when they went on about it!

I AM A MOM

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you compensate for this fear?

I am sometimes concerned that I will die before he is a fully-fledged adult. I compensate by taking better care of myself mentally and physically than I did in the past. I eat better. I drink less, exercise more and I take yoga classes during the week. My mother always says ‘you don’t have to be older to die’ and she’s right. I know many mothers who are much younger than I am but are less healthy and less energetic.

I also have concerns about him being an only child. I had two miscarriages at age 43 and 44. Now, I am almost 46, giving him a sibling doesn’t look likely.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I am more aware of how quickly time goes and how important it is to cherish the moments I have with my child. I used to be embarrassed if someone mentioned that I was an older mom but now I revel in it.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I am less selfish and I have reconnected with the fun side of myself, a side that had been waning before I had him.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

I would just say go for it as soon as possible. If you are anything like me, you will want to have another. I had a total turnaround in my attitude to being a mother and I am thankful that I got the chance, at least once.

Any additional comments?

Check out more of my story at http://www.fortysomethingfirsttimemum.blogspot.com/

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank InSeason Mom  Claire for being an inspiration to moms across the world!