In Season Mom

Births Over 35 More a Matter of Circumstance than Selfish Choice

By January 28, 2015 Blog
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If you’ve read my blog for longer than a minute, you know that I seldom watch or listen to any program featuring giving birth after 35 or 40. Most of them seem to have one agenda: show that women who give birth in their 40s are selfish, too career-focused, put themselves and unborn children at risk.

I am pleasantly surprised by a few like Nancy Redd, host of HuffPost Live, who did a fantastic job tackling “advanced maternal age” outdated term. The show “Embracing Being An Older Mother’ originally aired December 4, 2014.

As founder/editor/writer of  InSeason Mom, , I have met countless first time moms over 35 and 40. I have not met one who intentionally waited to have a baby until she was over 35.  How absurd for the media to encourage the misconception that older women were so obsessed with their careers that they lost track of time and ignored their personal lives. I do not know any woman who suddenly woke up to exclaim, “Wow, I’m over 35 and forgot to have a baby!”

Not every woman magically finds “Mr. Right” in her 20s.  Also, there are many women who tried for years to conceive and natural conception did not occur until after age 35.

Researcher Kristy Budds of the University of Huddersfield (UK) stated that delayed motherhood is more a matter of circumstance rather than choice as portrayed by the media. In a paper presented to the British Psychology Society at St. Andrew’s University, the UK psychologist stated, “I don’t like the term ‘delayed’ because it implies choice. It implies that women who have babies later on are putting something off or waiting for something. I question whether it is actually a choice. When women give birth in their late thirties or in their forties, it is not necessarily the result of a lifestyle choice — putting off motherhood for career reasons or from a desire to ‘have it all’. Nor should they be accused of selfishness or taking undue health risks. For a lot of women, it isn’t a selfish choice but is based around careful decisions, careful negotiations and life circumstances.”

I  believe education is one of the key components in erasing ignorance about a people, a thing or an idea.  I welcome more objective (updated) research on 35+ first time moms.  And to Researcher Kristy Budds, thanks for your contribution in educating others about first time moms over 35 and women who will become moms in their late 30s and 40s. You expressed what we first time moms over 35 knew all along!


By January 4, 2015 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Uncategorized

Name: Anita Anderson

Age: 51

State of residence: California

Child’s name and age: Ethan 8 years old & Chantel 24 years old

Current profession: Owner/Web Developer ACA Web Consulting


How long were you trying to get pregnant?

Three months

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

I had suffered a miscarriage 3 months prior to conceiving. I started on herbal teas of red raspberry leaf, red clover, nettle and dandelion. I supported my pregnancy with Vitex extract and progesterone cream.


The Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

My doctor and midwives were very supportive.  I opted out of a lot of the ‘advanced maternal age’ testing and they were respectful of my choices.

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

I did not. My doctors office was made up of midwives and medical doctors. I loved them. I was also seeing a homebirth midwife because we wanted a homebirth. The collaboration of both practices was great.

Family and friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told them about your pregnancy?

‘Are you crazy?’ ‘You’re starting over again now?’ ‘You’re going to be old when he grows up.’ The last comment came from my 16 year -old daughter.


What do you remember most about the birth experience?

I was very educated and aware of my options and choices. I had wanted a homebirth, and was working with a homebirth midwife as well as my doctors. My little man was due Oct 4th but was taking his time. I finally went into labor on Oct 25 and had meconium in my water when it broke so we headed to the hospital. Due to fetal distress, he was delivered healthy via emergency c-section. The emergency part was alarming and not very fun, but he came out healthy and screaming! The recuperation process was very quick. I left the hospital before they were ready to discharge me.


What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Initially, after my son was born I didn’t have any like-minded moms in my life to commiserate with. All my friends had children who were almost ready to graduate high school. I tried playgroups but the moms I met were closer to my daughter’s age than mine. So I started an over 35 moms meetup in San Diego county. It really helped having support and like-minded women to be around that cherished being a mom later in life. Through that group, I have made lifetime friends. We’ve watched our children grow up together. I am so grateful this little boy was placed in my life as a gift.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Having wisdom from being on this earth for 50+ years and being able to cherish my son with that wisdom.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

Going though mothering a young child again is wonderful; The things that I fussed over as a 27 year old first time mom have lost their hold on me and my parenting. I have been given a gift of blessing this little soul with direction and care.  I couldn’t be more thankful. He brings joy, excitement and fullness to my life.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Don’t believe all the fear mongering of having a child later in life. Many of the AMA (advanced maternal age) tests have lots of false positives. Get educated, look into alternative medicine for your pregnancy and thereafter in your child rearing. Most of the older moms I know are some of the most grounded, wonderful women because of their life experiences.

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By December 1, 2014 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms, Uncategorized
darline turnerjpg

Name: Darline Turner

Age: 49

State of residence: Texas

Children and ages: 12 year old daughter and an 8 year old son

Current or former profession(s): Women’s Health Coach (Currently), Nationally Certified Physician Assistant(Not currently working clinically); Owner and Founder of Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond


How long were you trying to get pregnant? 

I could get pregnant pretty easily, but I would miscarry early on before 12 weeks. Started in 2001, had first miscarriage and myomectomy to remove uterine fibroids. I had my daughter in 2002 at age 37 and my son in 2006 (after a second miscarriage in 2004) age 40.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

I was put on progesterone suppositories at ovulation because it was discovered that I had a luteal phase defect and my uterine lining was not developing enough to support the pregnancies.


The Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

They were supportive of the pregnancy, but not of me or my life in particular. Being older and high risk, I don’t feel they really took to heart the emotional toll it took on me, especially since I was without family or support in the immediate area.

I felt left to my own devices to get the help and support I needed. That is why I started Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond. I wanted to be the support I wish I had had; i.e. help around the house, help with my daughter (second pregnancy) and emotional support.

darline turner_400x400


Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

No. My OB and her practice were overall very good and very good with dealing with women with my types of medical complications. I opted for the technical expertise over the emotional intelligence.

Family and Friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy? My family was supportive, but cautious. I was pregnant with my son and turned 40 during the pregnancy. Having had a miscarriage, surgery to remove uterine fibroids prior to having my daughter, and then a second miscarriage, we all kind of held our collective breaths while I carried my son. Ironically, it was the easiest journey of my entire reproductive life!


What do you remember most about the birth experience? 

Well, I hemorrhaged after having my daughter. Initially, she did not cry when she first was lifted out of me (c-section) and I was moving and squirming trying to see her. She finally cried and then was whisked out of the surgical delivery suite to the nursery. She had fluid on her lung and they needed to “work on her breathing”.

Meanwhile, I was bleeding and throwing up and my OB’s partner (who delivered in my OB’s absence since I was 3 weeks early) worked diligently to stimulate my very “boggy and non- contracting uterus” and to stop the bleeding and stitch me up while the anesthesiologist gave me something to stop the vomiting and calm me down. I was pretty upset that they took my daughter and I really didn’t get to see or hold her!

I remember there was a lot of hustle and bustle as instrument packs were opened and everyone prepped to work on me. My husband had left to go with my daughter and I remember thinking what a horrible joke it would be if after everything I went through, I didn’t live to see/hold my daughter! I was really upset. For a time, every time the OB stitched, blood shot up like Old Faithful. But she was very focused and skilled and after about 45 minutes, I was all stitched up. It was 12 hours before I held my daughter and that was as she was on her way up to the NICU.

My son’s birth was the polar opposite. Since my husband was less than useless during my daughter’s delivery, I asked my sister to be with me in the delivery room. My son was born at 39 weeks via C-section. My OB delivered him and it was a nearly perfect C-section except the anesthesiologist missed while giving the epidural and initially only numbed my left side.

It also really hurt and I broke out into a sweat, started shaking and nearly fainted.

However, once they got the epidural properly administered, the delivery occurred without a problem. My son came out with the most hilarious expression on his face as if to say, “Are you freaking kidding me? It’s cold a stink out her!” He then looked at each one of us and then let out a wail! Dr. Swenson the held him up by his legs, something about letting the fluid out of his lungs and he proceeded to pee around the entire delivery room.

When My OB went to stitch me up, that bleeding thing wanted to start up, so she had my son put to my breast and he nursed like a champ! Meanwhile, his nursing stimulated my uterus to contract and the bleeding was averted. While this delivery went much more smoothly, I had a much harder recovery. Nursing really made my C-section incision hurt and my back hurt for months after the delivery-about 6 months to be exact! Even now, almost 9 years later, on very rare occasions when I’m tired or have done a vigorous workout, I can feel EXACTLY where I had that epidural.

 I’M A MOM!Darline T

What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Nothing really. For me, the problem was getting the kids here. Once I had them, I had no concerns whatsoever about raising them.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

I think I’m much smarter. I didn’t worry about having the latest and greatest baby items. I was really clear about how I was going to do motherhood, so I didn’t get sucked up into the commercial/retail craze. Also, being a Physician Assistant, I don’t sweat colds and such. My kids are super healthy and each have had only one ear infection. I’m also much more savvy about their development and behaviors. I don’t sweat things that they do nearly as much as I would if I were a younger mom. Having practiced clinically for 8 years before becoming pregnant really gave me a level of knowledge and comfort I never would have had had I had children younger. I honestly feel I had my kids at the perfect age.

How has becoming a mom changed you?

I let go of a lot of superfluousness! Being single or even a newlywed, I worried about a lot of truly inconsequential things. Once I had kids, I could see a lot of that fluff for just what it was-superfluous fluff! I let it go. I gained a lot of wisdom and perspective having my kids.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

If you really want to do it, DO IT!! Don’t let people scare you with all sorts of statistics and “advanced maternal age” stuff. If you are healthy and there are no contraindications to you having children, go for it! Just realize that you may encounter a few more complications, but most are easily resolved. Take good care of yourself and you and your baby will most likely be fine!!

Additional comments?

I truly believe that if you are meant to have children, you will. I say this because I have a cousin who had a baby at age 52, completely healthy, after having and losing a son at 18 to Sickle Cell Anemia. My little cousin was destined to come and come she did! If you really feel in your heart you are to have children, go for it! You wouldn’t have the desire if it wasn’t for you!



By November 1, 2014 Blog, Featured Home, Featured Moms
Michelle Mann-1


Name: Michelle

Age:    49 ( I will be 50 in Feb)

State of residence: Arizona

Child’s name and age: Nathanael Smart, 4 years old,

Current or former profession(s): Actress/Model and Real Estate Agent


How long were you trying to get pregnant? 

Two years – I had lost a baby at 42 and had him at 45.

What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?  

Having a very shaman/spiritual life I was doing sweats and eating very clean and having regular balancing treatments.  I don’t eat a lot of processed foods. I walked, meditated and stayed very positive in my belief that I could manifest another baby.  Once I released the fear, I was able to receive the gift of pregnancy.


Medical Community

How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

Very supportive

Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not? 

If I had had doctors that didn’t support me or believe in the idea of having a baby after 40, yes I would have. I felt very blessed because I had great doctors and nurses.

 Family and friends

What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

They were all very excited for me.


Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not? 

Yes, we went to a birthing class once.

What do you remember most about the birth experience? 

For me it was awesome! I was in a car accident when I was 6 months pregnant. I was extremely worried because at age 42 I lost a little girl. I was 18 or so weeks into the pregnancy. I started to have some contractions from the car accident. I began going to an acupuncturist, massage/cranial sacral person and a chiropractor which helped greatly! I could tell that he (Nathanael) wanted to come early. So I kept telling him that was fine, and that he could only enter this world if he was able to come home with me from the hospital.  I had dropped my husband off and went to an acupuncture appointment and then to the hospital for a routine check-up to see how Nathanael was doing.

I went into the bathroom as I always did but didn’t seem to stop peeing.  I came out and told the nurses this and it all started—34-35 weeks into the pregnancy! I was only in labor for 8 hours and opted not to have any drugs. Around 8-9 cementers, I decided that may not have been the best choice, but by that point it was too late (lol)! He came out and all was good EXCEPT that no one had prepared me for having to deliver the placenta. I was a bit overwhelmed at that idea(lol)


What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns? Michelle3

Not being here for him when he is older and not have family to connect with.  I enjoy every moment and trust.

What do you enjoy most about being an older mom? 

I enjoy being in a better place with myself which allows me to have more patience and understanding toward Nathanael.

How has becoming a mom changed you?  

In every way! For me there has been no greater honor than becoming a mom! We have the chance to help shape our world by raising amazing/loving creative little souls.

What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35? 

Take care of yourself and never stop believing and trusting. Eat healthy foods.   I am of a mindset that in many regards, we have been brainwashed as women to believe certain things. There is so much fear out there. We create fear in our lives by hearing and believing it.

I am not saying to wait if you don’t have too (become a mother) but if you have to, work towards trusting and believing.  Take care of you; anything is possible. Don’t allow others to create the fear that they know better; better than something higher and more profound at work in this process.  I was blessed because all my doctors gave the power to God/Higher power not to the medical world and statistics.


InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Michelle for sharing her story and for being an inspiration to all of us!


You Can Have A Healthy Pregnancy After 35

By October 31, 2014 Getting Pregnant After 35 and 40, Popular Posts, Uncategorized
pic5-telling your family and friends about your pregnancy

There is not an expectant mother alive who hasn’t had some anxiety about her baby’s health. She wonders whether her baby will be born healthy. Thoughts that never entered her mind are present.

Movies, books, television, the nosy woman in the hair salon tell birth horror stories that increase a pregnant woman’s anxiety. Combine all of this with the hormone changes that take place in the body during pregnancy, and it’s a wonder that any woman survives pregnancy with her sanity in tact.

An expectant mom over 35 is hit with a double dose of anxiety. She worries about her baby’s health and worries about the role her age will play in her baby’s health.
Here are eight guidelines to ease your mind and to help you achieve a healthy midlife pregnancy:


Ask if your prospective health care provider has concerns about pregnancy over 35.
Listen carefully to make sure the concerns are medically-based rather than opinion-based. Opinion-based concerns are those that do not have any medical validity.

Your health care provider may be concerned that collectively the medical history of pregnant women over age 35 shows an increased risk of:

  • High blood pressure
  • Diabetes
  • Cesarean birth
  • Chromosomal defects

Remember that these studies are based on the results of midlife pregnant women as a group and are not based on your individual medical history. Select an obstetrician or midwife who respects your right to have your pregnancy viewed individually.


A pregnant woman needs an extra 300 calories a day. You can get these calories by eating a variety of foods that are high in protein, calcium and iron.

To prevent bacteria and parasites that could be harmful to your unborn baby, avoid unpasteurized milk or soft cheeses and undercooked or raw meat, fish, shellfish or eggs.
Also, wash all fresh fruits thoroughly before eating.

You’ll need to increase your intake of protein and folic acid. Protein is crucial for the development of all new cells. A minimum of 60 grams per day is needed for the physical and cellular development of your baby.

Taking a multivitamin supplement that includes 400 micrograms of folic acid daily is beneficial to a pregnant woman as well as all women of childbearing age. Folic acid helps in the developing the spinal cord and the brain of an unborn baby.

During pregnancy curb your craving for caffeine. Consumed in large quantities, caffeine can cause irritability, nervousness and insomnia as well as low birth-weight babies.
Some studies show that caffeine intake during pregnancy can harm the fetus. Other studies state “there’s no proof that small amounts of caffeine, (1-2 cups of coffee daily) cause problems during pregnancy.

Until more conclusive studies are done you may want to limit your caffeine intake while pregnant.


No one knows how much alcohol a woman has to consume to put herself at risk for a miscarriage or her baby at risk for fetal alcohol syndrome.

Fetal alcohol syndrome may include mental and growth retardation, facial malformations, liver and kidney abnormalities.

Because there is such uncertainty surrounding the level of alcohol consumption and pregnancy, most health care providers recommended that pregnant women avoid alcohol.


Smoking during pregnancy puts your baby at risk. Smoking while pregnant reduces the amount of oxygen delivered to your baby, which may impair the growth of your baby resulting in a greater chance of having a premature or too small baby.

Smoking increases your risk of miscarriage, vaginal bleeding and infant death.


Legal Drugs- Some medications are not safe for a pregnant woman. You should review all drugs including prescriptions, over-the-counter and herbal medications with your physician before, during and after pregnancy.

Illegal Drugs- I will not get into a debate about what drugs should or shouldn’t be legal. I will write that legal and illegal drugs can kill your future and the future of your baby. If you are addicted, find a support group or treatment.


Never begin an exercise program without first checking with your doctor. Exercise is a good way to get and keep your body in shape. Exercise also relieves stress during pregnancy.

7. REST.

The body goes through many physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. Fatigue is common discomfort of pregnancy. Listen to your body. Rest whenever possible. Stop or cut back on many activities that sap your strength.


All expectant moms, regardless of age, run into unwanted advice about everything from clothing to weight.

As a mom over 35 you will run into people who applaud your decision to give birth later to people who tell you outright that you are too old to have a baby.

The key is not in what others say but in how you react and believe the message they are saying. Like a soldier who puts on her physical attire for combat you must put on your mental gear to protect negativity from penetrating your spirits. Most of all enjoy your pregnancy!

Trying to Conceive in Your 40s Coping Tips

By October 30, 2014 Featured Home

-Over 30 practical coping tips that you can use now

-Quick read e-book without all the depressing medical jargon or statistics

-Many books offer suggestions on getting pregnant after 35 but this e-book offers tips on coping while you wait

-Written by first time mom over 40 of two healthy babies

Book Outline

Failing Faith in God, Self & Others                Tips 1-8

Taking Care of Self-Mentally  (PT I)             Tips 9-19

Taking Care of Self-Mentally  (PT II)           Tips -20-26    

Taking Care of Self- Physically                      Tips 27-36

Email: for details