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Special Feature> interview with author and mom Beth Vogt

Beth is a writer and publisher of www.mommycomelately.com.
As publisher of InSeason Mom (INSM) I'm impressed with Beth's book Baby Changes Everything. Honestly, I don't think I could have done a better job addressing the medical, emotional and practical concerns of older moms and dads. Check out this interview with Beth Vogt.

INSM: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I’m 48 years old. Let’s just get the age question out of the way. Since my book is about being a mom again at 41, there’s no hiding my age anyways. I’m battling my “Glass Half Empty” predisposition by adopting the “Life is Good” philosophy. I need one of those t-shirts. I’ve been married for 27 years, so my husband and I fall into the “old married couple” category. We have four children—ages 24, 21, 19 and almost 7. And our son just got married, so I have a “daughter-in-love”—and that is so much fun!

I am a writer because I believe God created me to be a writer—I am using the gifts and talents he gave me. I love my husband and my children—and I love molding words into sentences and paragraphs that speak honestly to people’s hearts.

INSM: Why did you write Baby Changes Everything?

When I found out I was pregnant again at 41—at the time our children were 17, 14 and 12 ½--I felt so alone. I didn’t know anyone else like me. I wandered the bookstores looking for a book to help me figure this out—this being a late-in-life pregnancy. There were a few books out there—but none were written from a faith-based perspective. None were written for “repeaters” like me, women who already had children. None included a whole family perspective.

INSM : How many women did you interview for you book?

Somewhere between 20 and 30. There are Cameo Appearances at the end of almost all the chapters—stories of other late-in-life moms. I wanted a wide range of stories. So, there are stories of women who struggled with infertility, one woman who was widowed and remarried, women who faced divorce, women who were surprised with an unexpected pregnancy like I was, women who experienced blended families.

INSM : Does your book share any insights from older dads?

This is one way Baby Changes Everything is different from other books on late-in-life motherhood. It has a whole family perspective. I interviewed late-in-life dads to get their perspective on the experience. One of the dads I interviewed was Dr. Kevin Leman, who wrote The Birth Order Book. He provided some key insights. I even interviewed my own husband because I didn’t want to assume I knew what he thought about our experience.

INSM : What were some of the bonus unexpected learning/insights you gained from writing Baby Changes Everything.

One of the strengths of the book is all the different stories. I learned so much from the other late-in-life moms. I respect them and admire them and laughed and cried with them as they shared their stories.

I learned about myself as I wrote the story—how my “caboose baby” changed me.
I also interviewed my older children for the chapter “One for All—and All for the Little One.” Wow—it was fun to learn what my son and daughters thought about their much-younger sister!

INSM :What are a few of the differences for moms who experience surprise pregnancies after 35 with those of us who were trying to become pregnant after 35?

There’s a huge difference emotionally when a woman’s been hoping and wishing and trying to get pregnant versus a woman who is stunned by a positive pregnancy test. I say my unexpected pregnancy at 41 felt like a huge case of identity theft. It was no where on my “Life To Do” list—not even an optional activity. So, it took me quite a while—months—to adjust emotionally to how life was going to change now that I was pregnant.
All women have adjustments after a baby is born, but an unexpected pregnancy magnifies those adjustments.

I also had to force myself to “be” pregnant. Going into a maternity store was huge. My two teenage daughters finally coerced me. They thought it was fun. I didn’t.


INSM : What are a few of the similarities for moms who experience surprise pregnancies after 35 compared with those of who were trying to get pregnant after 35?

The risks of a late-in-life pregnancy are the same whether you planned it or not. You’re probably going to be told about the risks you face—higher rate of miscarriage or preeclampsia or preterm delivery—as well as the risks your baby faces for abnormalities.
So, you need to be informed about those.

You’re also probably going to be subjected to some people’s comments about being an older mom. Sometimes people can be terribly insensitive or rude.

And I think all older moms experience some “mommy guilt” over being older. They wonder what their children are missing out on because they are not a young mom.

INSM :How will reading Baby Changes Everything help a woman who is experiencing a surprise after 35 pregnancy or a woman who desires to get pregnant after 35?

I wrote Baby Changes Everything to encourage late-in-life moms. I’ve had a few women who’ve read the book e-mail me and say, “It’s so nice to know someone understands how I’m feeling!”

I wanted to present up-to-date medical information so women would be informed about what medical tests they might be offered. I wanted to provide a whole-family view of late-in-life motherhood, so I included interviews with dads and older siblings—and even grandparents. A late-in-life child affects so many different relationships.

I tried to write with honesty and humor about how a woman’s life will be changed by a late-in-life pregnancy—and encourage a woman to embrace her caboose baby and all those changes.

INSM :Do you think the trend of celebrities having babies over 35 is helpful in creating a more positive acceptance/atmosphere of first-time older moms?

Celebrities having babies over 35 makes people more aware of the overall trend of women having children later in life. Yes, in some ways it creates an atmosphere of acceptance. However, I take celebrity relationships with a grain of salt because “celebrity” life is not reality for most late-in-life moms.

INSM What message(s) do you want readers of Baby Changes Everything to remember after reading the book?

I call a late-in-life mom a “mommy-come-lately.”

The medical community labels us “Advanced Maternal Age” or AMA. One of my friends was called an “Elderly Mother.”

I wanted to put a more positive spin on late-in-life motherhood. There’s an antiquated term “Johnny-come-lately” that means a person who comes to something late in life but is successful at it. So, if you put a little maternal spin on that phrase, you get a mommy-come-lately—a woman who comes to motherhood late in life, but is successful at it.

I want women who either choose to have children late in life or are surprised by a caboose baby to be encouraged as they read my book. I want them to feel supported, informed and challenged to be successful older moms.

INSM : Any additional comments?

I have a Web site for late in life moms at www.mommycomelately.com. Women can find the latest news of interest to older moms, as well as medical information and an extensive list of resources. I also have a “photo album” where moms can post photos of themselves with their caboose kiddos. And I write a blog for late-in-life moms too—www.mommycomelately.blogspot.com.


InSeason Mom would like to thank Beth for being an inspiration to moms across the world!